


Needing To Be

by Anon4Us



Category: Infinity Train (Cartoon)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-19
Updated: 2020-09-19
Packaged: 2021-03-07 17:47:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,716
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26551597
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Anon4Us/pseuds/Anon4Us
Summary: Even back home Jesse only wanted to make people happy, to be part of the group. May it be the swim team, the theater kids, those kids that collected their easer shavings...Him being on some kind of crazy train didn't make a difference.
Kudos: 18





	Needing To Be

**Author's Note:**

> This is all based off of [funneylizzie](https://funneylizzie.tumblr.com/)'s [Apex Jesse](https://funneylizzie.tumblr.com/post/621585947528724480/some-apexjesse-au-based-off-the-comic-i-made-a) art. I just love the idea and really wanted to do a little something. Just the art work is such *chef's kiss* makes me all happy.

When Jesse met Grace, he thought she was the coolest.

She was like the popular kids at school. She had all the moves, all the cool toys with the harpoon backpack and knew all sorts of things about the train. Whenever she spoke to him, Grace knew what to say, to make it seem this was the right thing. The most important thing though was that she cared. She care about him and his feelings.

Grace was the one that said if he didn’t like something, he didn’t have to do it. Jesse didn’t have to do something because he was told too, didn’t have to eat it or anything. He could kick it to the wheel. It was nice actually. To have someone tell him that he didn’t have to do something if he didn’t want too.

Everyone seems to back home.

When Grace brought him to the Mall Car from the Cube Car, Jesse stared at the Apex’s base in amazement. It was paradise, that you anything you could do anything you could imagine here. Kids skated anywhere, there was a giant ramp for bikes, a loot pit and so much more. It was all the stuff you wish you could do in the mall but couldn’t.

Grace said he could be a part of this, be a part of Apex.

Travelling alone the train for so long, finally running into other humans made him glad. Meeting the denizens on the train was nice, but it wasn’t the same as real human interaction.

At the start, everything was going great. Everyone so cool and impressive. Grace being the boss, taking charge, being amazing, Simon was pretty smart, into fantasy stuff and built all the cool toys. Even the little kids like Todd, Lucy and Alex were pretty neat. Everyone welcomed him, show him the ropes with the Mall Car and explore other cars…

Actually…he found it wasn’t like that. It was more like raids.

They traveled from car to car and raze them to the ground. He watched as Apex enter these cars and destroy anything that wasn’t nailed down. Apex would steal what they want to bring back to the base. It could be clothes, food, any sort of items a train car had to offer. Nothing was off limits and Apex took joy in it.

It left a bad taste in his mouth.

But the others loved it. There were prizes after the raids for anyone with the biggest jump in number. Jesse got top pick from raids cause of his number jump. It earned him praise from Grace and Simon, high fives and admiration from the other kids. To have all that positive feedback, made Jesse continue onward, to swing and smash.

But sometimes, he would think of Nate, Mom and Dad.

Which made him wish he could go home.

But the only way home is to get your number down to zero.

But the main rule with the Apex. The higher your number, the more power you have. Sometimes, it made sense what Grace and Simon said. That they, the passengers were important, the right owners of the train. They’re the ones with the numbers, not like the denizens on the train.

The denizens of the train were Nulls.

Cause they weren’t even worth a zero.

But when Jesse think about it, it made the knot in his stomach to grow and tighter.

That’s what Grace and Simon called them and they had been on the train the longest. They knew of the real conductor before the fake one. Jesse though the little robot was kind of funny and gloomy. But they said he wasn’t the real conductor. They never got any intro video when they came, so why now?

So, he went along with it, watch his number grow.

What was once at 31 turn into 145.

It surprised him how fast his number grew in a few short weeks compared to the other kids. Which impressed them.

He kind of like the feeling though. Jesse like how the other members of the Apex admire how high he gotten his number in short amount of time. That kind of attention Jesse really loved. It made him want to get his number higher, to continue to get the attention and looks of amazement.

But a tiny part of him wanted the number to go down, he wanted to go home.

He hadn’t even said sorry to Nate yet.

“Hey Jesse, you with us?”

“Huh?” Jesse said, drawn out of his thoughts with a question from Grace. She stood there in the middle of the bridge between cars waiting for him, giving him a look of ‘What the heck?’ look.

Right, they were set to explore a couple new cars. If any of them were good, then they would tell the others back at the base.

“Yeah, totally!” Jesse laugh his answer and wave off her. “I was thinking what kind of car we’re getting into.”

“Oh? You hoping for anything good?” she inquires, reassuring him to speak with a look of interest.

“No, curious cause you never know with new cars, right? Could be like a fart car,” suppose Jesse, move to join her. Ben and Daniel were already at the door into the next car, waiting for them.

“Ah ew,” Grace wretch, her face fill with disgust. “Why would you wan-”

“Nononono I mean, like you know the trains can be anything. So, it can be possible that the car could be…you know…” said Jesse glumly. God damn, him and his big mouth. His face boil from the embarrassment. Fart car? Really! He could have said anything and he went with that.

“Ok, if you said so,” said Grace reaching the train car. Ben and Daniel move to the side to allow her at the door. With a hold on the door switch, Grace twists it and it open up. The four of them enter inside to bask in the wonders of the new train car…

Only for it to be nothing.

Jesse never seen a blank car before. To see the other door right away threw him off. No journey or task to do? Was this car even finish? As soon as he steps in to join the others inside, the door they came in slam shut. That’s normal enough. Some doors are fast to close themselves. The only issue is the door on the other side wouldn’t open.

Daniel and Ben took turns with the door switch to open it but no luck. Grace stood behind the two boys with a look of impatience and tapping her foot. Moving back, Jesse try to open the door they came in. Maybe it would work.

Nope, no luck.

Didn’t seem like the other side would open either.

“Great, a puzzle car,” huffs Grace, arms cross and looking around the area. “What do we have to do to get out of here.”

“Please don’t kick me.”

The four of them look down at the source of the voice.

It’s a frog.

A normal looking frog sat there in the middle of the car. It stares up at them, quite nervous as it sat next to a small wooden sign with ‘Kick the Toad’ written on it. Ok, so it’s a toad, not a frog.

Oh, Jesse knew were this is going.

As he rubs his hands together, Jesse stood behind the others as they circle the toad.

“And what do you mean by that?” ask Grace. She appear to be nice, pleasant but even Jesse knew she’s trying to hide her animosity. She tends to hate when they depend on the Nulls to move through the cars.

“Well…you see, the only way to open the doors and get out of here car is if you kick me,” the Toad said.

An ice-cold shiver went down Jesse’s neck watching the smiles appear on the others. He can feel the knot in his stomach squeeze tighter. He knew what they did to Nulls in cars they raided in normal situations. He can remember the Nulls’ faces, their fear and pain as the Apex storms into their car.

But were they real emotions, real feelings?

They weren’t real…they didn’t even have a number.

“Hey Jesse, why don’t you try it?”

“Huh?”

Grace smile as she steps away from the toad. Basically, making a path for him, “Kick him and we can get out of here. There’s nothing here and we can get a move on to the next car.”

“Please don’t,” the toad implore.

“Ah, I’m not much of a kicker,” laugh Jesse, taking a few step to join the rest of the group. He didn’t want to. The Null looks like it didn’t want to be kick, even if it knew that its the only way out of the train car. Even if it isn’t real, it looks pretty real and convincing for him.

“Come on, Jesse,” said Grace. She places her arm around his shoulder, pulling him closer to the toad. “We need one kick and you have the smallest number of the group. I want you to get a chance to catch up before the next raid.”

That’s true. While his number tends to go up in huge jumps, out of the four of them right now he has the lowest one. Which seems silly to think 145 as a small number.

But with the Apex, the higher the number, the stronger you are.

“Beside, it isn't like it is a real person.”

For something that isn’t suppose to be real, it seems to be pretty scared of being kick. But if it’s scared of being kick, why didn’t it move to avoid being kick? Fight back?

Jesse bit his lip and arch his leg up to kick the toad. It sat there, its arm covering its body to guard itself and shaking in fear.

‘Sorry about this’ thought Jesse. The second he thought that, his number took to shifting around. Once settle, Jesse look at the new number on his hand.

“151,” said Grace, seeing it too. He can hear the the approval in her voice. “Nice going, now go for it.”

“Oh please don’t” cries the Toad.

“Come on, Jesse. Do it.”

Ah crap.


End file.
